Dear Starfish Diaries

THE LIST

My plan for this next post was to write a list.  Something along the lines of New Year’s resolutions.  That was weeks ago.  Resolutions are hard!  I’m on this journey of self discovery and every single day I resolve to make SOMETHING better, do SOMETHING meaningful, find SOMETHING deep and significant that will change my life for the better.  So after a few weeks of writing myself little notes on post-its, agonizing over the perfect resolutions, and achieving zero things in the realm of writing….I resolve to say screw resolutions!  I’m just going to start a list of things that are important to me, and set an intention (how very yogic of me, right?) to PAY ATTENTION to part of this list every day.  All year.  Forever.  Way to simplify the whole resolution game, Liz.

Yoga.

Yoga has become an important part of my life over the past 6 months.  I changed my path in a very significant way in 2016, and yoga has been a saving grace as I find my way back to myself.  Even though I practice yoga 3-4 times per week, I feel like the practice has permeated my everyday life.  I think about it, read about it, and want to just crawl up under its smooth, zen skin and live in it.  Becoming a person who loves and lives yoga has made my world feel safer and lighter.  My goal is to eventually take Yoga Teacher Training, but I’ll talk about that more another time, as I have all sorts of plans, fears, and overall confusing/exciting thoughts on that topic.  My intention for now is to keep working at becoming more skilled at the physical and mental practice of yoga, to keep learning about yoga overall, and to love myself enough to make space in my life for this awesome force that I’ve been so lucky to stumble across.

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Vegan.

More than just a diet, veganism is a super cool, super kind, super compassionate lifestyle that I am proud to follow.  I’m going to get back to volunteering at an animal rescue this month, and I can’t wait to get my hands on some squishy pit bull faces that need some love and help them to feel safe enough to find forever homes.  I’ve recently become more mindful of the products I use, ensuring they’re cruelty free, and I look forward to sharing that information with you (oh you imaginary, hope-to-someday-be-real blog follower, you).  I eat a VERY full diet of animal free foods, and hope to be a bit more mindful of my own health as I continue on this path (read: slow down on the hummus and pasta, dude.  Have a carrot.)

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Relationships.

I have a kick ass husband, a rockstar family, and a handful of really freaking fabulous friends.  Living in a new state far from home for the past year has been great for my marriage but we’ve somehow forgotten to make any local friends.  So my hope is to make a few friends here- even if they’re just grab-a-coffee, do-some-yoga, bitch-about-the-weather type friends- while continuing to cherish and nurture the relationships I am already so very lucky to have.

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Work.

I made a MAJOR career change this year.  More about this another time.  For now, I am pledging to myself to feel grateful for a stable job that doesn’t make me melt to the floor in a puddle of panic every Sunday night.  To roll with the punches and remember that this is not life or death.  To love that I have kind, supportive coworkers, a lovely office, and the freedom to have a nice cup of tea or go to the bathroom whenever I need to do so.  It’s the little things, right?

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Mental Health.

We’re all crazy.  It’s not a competition.  But if it was, I think I might have been winning up until a few months ago.  For realzies, though- I’ve struggled with- and will always struggle with- anxiety and panic disorders.  I have come SO INCREDIBLY FAR, but I’ve learned the hard way that the moment I think I’m cured is the moment it will smack me in the face and say “NOT TODAY, SUCKA!”  Anxiety and panic will be my forever companions in this life, and I will continue to work on accepting them without letting them run the show.  Bastards.  Acceptance….getting there.

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Fun Stuff.

Ok, let’s be honest- life can’t be all about meditating and yoga and gratitude, right?  I mean, I’d love to be so evolved that this section was not even on my radar, but we can’t all be the Dalai freaking Lama.  I love stuff!  Clothes, makeup, jewelry, yoga mats, kitchen gadgets, manicures, ALL THE THINGS!  So I’m sure I’ll think about the stuff I want to buy, to do, places to go…wishing there was a money tree…and I’m ok with that.  Stuff is fun.  It’s not everything.  But I’m not going to beat myself up for wanting the things that money CAN buy.

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(awesome picture courtesy of Hyperbole and a Half, check it out)

I think that’s where my list will end today.  I’m going to go back and try to doll this up to make it pretty- this blog situation is very new to me and I’m not only working on finding my voice, I’m trying to learn this design business that totally intimidates me when I read other bloggers’ posts.  So if you happen to be reading this (THANK YOU), I promise that I’ll keep working on this part of my life too, to make it better for us both.

Here’s to a New Year of awesome.

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